JOY IS IN THE SIMPLE THINGS

Joy is in the simple things: touching,
Embracing, chattering on for hours about nothing,
Sure of your place within another’s heart.
Simple things: like coming home knowing
Exactly where the treasure lies; like being
At ease with what you do and who you are;
Needing what you already have; accepting,
Desiring what you have been given; feeling
The gratitude of someone who is loved;
Investing goodness instead of money; giving
For the pleasure of giving pleasure; seeing
Fortune come to take you in its arms.
All this joy is yours for the price of loving,
Not only well but long, days of willing,
Years and years of wise and patient love.

Unknown

Because of you I am

Because of you …

I am!

 

Relativity

twin-flame-soulmates

What is of value to someone, differs from persons to person. And so does what is valuable.

What one person regards as a means to and end, could be regarded by another as a gift.

Such was my experience for the past six years until it abruptly came to and end when I stopped working in the same place and at the same employer as my husband did.

And when I reflect on those times gone by, I realise that so often I took those very minutes and hours for granted. How often it was laden  with tension and anger and only in retrospect do I realise how precious moments were wasted on irrelevant, unnecessary  and non-sensical issues.

So special were those moments.

for those were the times we discussed our lives together.

Our children and agreed upon discipline measures; future plans and dreams we have for them.

Where we planned birthday gifts and parties. Where we celebrated their achievements and relished our feelings of pride.

We would speak about our relationship, the feelings we for each other and about each other.

We would speak about our dreams and wishes as husband and wife. About what we would like to acquire. About how we plan to realise our dreams.

We would speak about siblings and friends and family. About neighbours, acquaintances and community members.

We would  have in-depth discussions about news, topical issues and religious issues.

We would relay funny or fascinating and sometimes shocking stories about our day.

And through these interaction between the two of us, we would get to know the people whom we share our day with, without ever meeting them face to face. We would bring each other into each of our daily lives even when we are not together.

But there were also times of silence due to being absolutely tired after a difficult or gruelling day.

And even in those silent  moments, minutes and hours, we would simply relish and bathe in each others presence that is enveloped in an unspoken, but unmistaken love that is prevalent between us.

A love that does not need words to express feelings, thoughts, wishes,dreams and desires.

A love that lives in both of us and merge us into a single entity only a few experience in their life times.

A love that transcends our physical being, our cognisant consciousness and our emotional being.

Because this love we share does not live in a known space or a visible place.

But rather in that which no one  has access to except for our creator and ourselves.

Our souls…

Intertwined, interweaved, fused, and melted into a single unit that shares what can never be shared, felt, experienced or possessed by another.

For it is ours to cherish.

Ours to appreciate.

Ours alone.

Soul mates….forever.

 

So appreciate every waking and not so awake moment with that one person who shares that special space with you.  It can easily just not be there anymore….

On days like This

Today was one of those strange days. One of those days when I feel completely quiet inside, but not numb.

When i feel gentle and peaceful. Vulnerable and  fragile. Yet restless at the same time.

And this lull that is radiating from the pit of my stomach meanders on an endless and mindless path back and forth between my mind and heart.

On days like this silence is my best friend yet loneliness forces unwanted company.

So in a nutshell I have not been able to, in all of these years,  understand or define this strange feeling.

What hand long been apparent however, is that this undefined feeling  brings structure to my internal chaos, inspire my creativity and cultivates my productivity.

But all of the above feelings. thoughts and observations are dwarfed by something much more intense.

On days like this I feel like crawling under my husbands skin and resting my head under his heart.

On days like this I feel a closeness to him unlike anything I can describe in words.

On days like this I miss my darling so much, that it hurts.

On days like this I realise…

I am blessed.

inner-peace

Living the dream

luv liv hr 

When I embarked on this journey of sharing my husband, myself, my children, my life. I had a vision of a life filled with love, harmony, joy and happiness. To experience a closeness with my sister-wife that not even my natural sisters can offer. To feel a sense of contentment, joy and admiration to see the two people closest to me, sister-wife and hubby loving each other because of me. Seeing my sister-wife happy and finally not just living, but being alive.

But then things seemed to go wrong. Jealousy and envy shed dark clouds to hover over our home and lives. Things were said that should not have been said and could not be unsaid. Damage was done that was difficult to fix. Things were done that caused pain, sadness and tears. Irrational thoughts, feelings and perception became food for the raging fire that was plaguing and burning our home, our lives.

Then a terrible demon rose from its slumber, only  this time it had a name. And with it having a name, came a new kind of despair. Despair of what if, and fear and regret.

What if my demon who now has a name…  BIPOLAR wins the battles and eventually the war. This  unstoppable, unbeatable, destructive force clearly set on destroying my life, my world and in the process the lives of those close to me.

Only this time the defensive side was not a one man army, but a formidable army not only in greater numbers, but also armed with the most powerful weapon ever to be used, LOVE…

And with this powerful weapon  fuelled by an undisputable, unconquerable, indestructible, force called love, The Power Of Three  have proven that it is indeed an adversary to be reckoned with. This weapon of love have managed to keep my demon in check; to heighten its defences at the slightest glimmer of this demonic force lifting its ugly head to terrorise me and those close to  me.

So now we are winning. Winning because of the gift of love. And finally my vision is being realised. Is visible and tangible. We are living the dream. We are living what most people deem impossible.

We are loving  without wanting selfishly, but rather always wanting for the next one. And such is how the circle of love goes around…

Seamless, boundless and impenetrable.

Finally the dream is alive…

I have my sister-wife feeling, treasured, adored, loved, desired, respected, appreciated and wanted by a family motivated by love and all the while feeling worthy of all these wonderful gifts.

My little boy has a family, brothers,a sister, a second mother, an actual father figure, a grandmother and extended family who adores him as much as they do their own.

My children are learning the valuable lesson that society does not determine our choices, but that our choices are dictated by the will of Allah and that which Allah has made permissible. They also learnt that if you give one step toward Allah, Allah opens a wide array of opportunities and rewards to you.

My (our) husband always had the need and desire to spread his love and care for someone other than myself and through this wonderful assimilation of two wonderful people to our family, his desire could also be fulfilled ,another could gain from the wonderful, loving, caring, nurturing and protective husband he has always been to me.

And finally…

I could have my friend, my sister, my confidant, other side of me close.

Another to love,

Another to share with,

Another to confide in,

Another to comfort and find comfort in,

Another to laugh with

and another to cry with

 

I love you Sis

I love that you are part of my (our) family

I love that hubby loves you and you him

I love that you love my (our  4) children

I love having you so close

 family together      

So  as the world is watching

Waiting for our love to fall flat,

We are living the dream

Compersion is alive and working in our home.

We are living the dream….

Listen to the song

Reflection brings perspective and clarity.

But also points you to where you gone wrong and how different actions could have led to different outcomes.

You realise that in some some battles the casualties are far too great to justify the fight.

 You realise that you are combatant in an endless and waisted conflict that is not worthy of being pursued.

And that you are wasting precious resources on a futile and waisted effort.

Why not rather focus on the small battles won and forget about the raging war and the constant hope of the spoils it might render.

However, it’s easier said than done.

I think at the risk of sounding like I know, I am of the opinion that the very energy used to constantly engage in wasted fighting should be utilised in moving towards that which is positive and focus on the gifts you have in your life and in recognising them and appreciating them, more joy and happiness will fill your world and the people who shares it with you.

 So go on!

Follow the song in your heart and forget the noise in your mind that is keeping you on the battlefield and is bogging you down.

Naz

Insanity or devinity

It is now close to six months ago when I took a crazy leap into the unknown. My only companion being faith, trust and a love I believed in. The words, -”Why don’t you marry her?”- felt like a stranger violating my speech and abusing my voice  to manipulate an emotion filled situation.  What was I to do; think? It had to be a divine intervention. What other explanation can be ascribed when a sane, normal and happily married woman suggests that her husband of almost two decades, marry another woman? Have I lost it or was there a bigger hand at play here. In my defense I have to declare that the woman I proposed my husband to marry was my best friend.

After lengthy discussions between two, three and two, we came to  the conclusion that this is what we wanted. I coached, guided, advised my husband how to court his soon to be new bride. His courting skills  rusty, forgotten and awkward. Step by step I did it. The sweet worded sms. The well-timed phone call. The odd bunch of flowers. And constant reminders of sweet words, appropriate compliments and  romantic and sweet actions to enhance and help blossom this new and growing love. All the while being an onlooker on something beautiful between two people I love dearly and deeply. I could see the love blossoming. My husband smiling, whispering and missing his new love. The excitement in his eyes at the thought of seeing her; the sweetness in his voice when he spoke to her. I step aside. I make space for them. This is a good thing. My friend is glowing, she seem happy for the first time. I knew he would be the right person to heal her wounds and take away her pain. I see her growing into a bold and daring butterfly. Only remnants of  the once fearful person she was is still visible from time to time. I did good. I got those I love to love even more.