The Road Not Taken

The other day I read a poem by Robert Frost called “The road not taken” and for a bit I was somewhat confused. Could it be that when I wrote the poem down form the textbook, that I made an error in the title. Should it not be “The Road To Take”? But after checking, it was indeed the “the Road Not Taken”.

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

-by Robert Frost

In  this poem the poet finds himself at a fork in the road and has to choose which road to take. One road looked well worn by traffic while the second road appeared to be unscathed by traffic as it is covered in green grass with no trace of leaves trampled and rotting. He weighs his options and decide to choose the green road not being sure what influenced his choice. But in an effort to sooth his guilt of choosing the one road over the other, he promises himself that one day in the future he will return to take the other road. But in his heart he knows every road takes you away from another road, but leads you to another and so each new road you take not only takes you to a new road but also takes you father away from the road you did not choose. But as much as you accept the road you took and the journey it took you on, you will always wonder what the road you did not take would have brought you, where it would’ve taken you and what opportunities you missed because of not taking that road.

And as usual messages from my creator comes in different and sometimes strange ways. Because today I find myself exactly at a crossroad. A fork in the road with both options unknown to me. One seems to be a safe choice because it seems well travelled, the other green and unscathed by the footsteps of life.

So what do I choose…which road do I take?

 

Never before in my life have I felt so lost; so ungrounded. It feels as though my life lies shattered at my feet. Broken in so many pieces that it appears an impossibility to fix. Many of the shards left so sharp, that any attempt to reach for it result in f injury. Some pieces are so small that any attempt for fix it will be futile. And so I stand here with a sense of hopelessness not even knowing where to start to glue the remaining saveable shards back together again. And then added to that I still find myself standing at a fork in the road, not knowing which is the best one to choose,

So what does these two roads offer?

Road one…..

is the one that is familiar albeit destructive. The one that is known because of past experience, faith and the illusion that things will always be ok again but in reality laced with pain and sadness.

Or

take the new untraveled, unscathed road. Terrifying for fear of the unfamiliar and unknown, yet exciting with the promise of  hope and the new.

A cross-road indeed.

Much to ponder/

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Neva forget by Mocha Sistah

Relationships are interesting. Friendships are supposed to be healing and positive situations but sometimes…. There are individuals who pose as “friends” and they plot, and then steal what you deem worthy. Today is a day I’ll neva forget. Used to share my secrets with ya. Used to laugh about some crazy stuff with you. What I failed to realize is that you were using my information for your usage. And today is a day I’ll neva forget. This is a day you waited for. You wanted what I had. So you stole. What you fail to realize is that I am not in the darkness like you wanted me to be in. What you fail to realize is that I am God’s angel and he has my back. You can’t steal what things he has given to me. And even though I am trippin’ on your sillyness, I can’t blame you for wanting what I have. What i have is deep and real. What I have is beautiful. What I got you still can’t have. You have something with no substance. I have a deeper gift. A deeper thang. Sistah you can’t steal what blessings he has given to me. You can’t steal my joy. I’m still here. I’m still blessed. So even though I am disappointed in you, know that I am the bigger person and I won’t act crazy. I am going to be real with you. I am still going to be me. But I will neva trust you again. This betrayal is a little too much even for me.

Dangerous Waters

Every now and then we move into a negative space and suddenly all we focus on on is the little things we normally are able to ignore and tolerate. only now they have exploded from tiny dewdrops to destructive monsoons.

And if you are not careful, you might be swept away by the storm floods and end up as debris all damaged and broken up.

So don’t get smashed by that irrational tsunami and swept away by the emotional monsoon.

Rather flee for higher ground and wait for the storm to pass

higher ground

Another one bites the dust

Another one bites the dust.

 The dying breath of 2010 after a long, painful but brave and courageous battle.

But despite all the obstacles it most certainly feels to drawing to a close on a maybe not high but positive note.

 At least where it matters.

Once again love not only survived but also conquered all.

This year I lost much.

Sacrificed much and had to to make huge paradigm shifts and massively had to adjust my view of what my life should be and would be like looking forward.

 But above all so much have been gained this year.

 Our family grew with an additional wife and mother and our brood grew in the form of a well spoken, eloquent, toothless but absolutely adorable son.

And after some discomfort, major adjustment we are now all fully integrated and happy.

I did it my way

So it is here.

 The dying breath of 2010 after a long, painful but brave and courageous battle.

But despite all the obstacles it most certainly feels to drawing to a close on a maybe not high but positive note.

 At least where it matters.

Once again love not only survived but also conquered all.

 This year I lost much.

Sacrificed much and had to to make huge paradigm shifts and massively had to adjust my view of what my life should be and would be like looking forward. But above all so much have been gained this year.

Our family grew with an additional wife and mother and our brood grew in the form of a well spoken, eloquent, toothless but absolutely adorable

I am lion. Hear me roar!

Yesterday was one of the best days I had had in a long time. Felt like a regular day where the three of us could move the world, pick the stars and realign the planets.
What a fantastic sense of peace and strength. The love that binds us stronger than ever before. Once again my faith is restored not only in my ability to rise above anything life can dish up but also my knack to grow and draw strength from adversity. The three of us are yet again a force to be reckoned with, invincible and unstoppable.

So world, with all your judgemental, uneducated and misinformed, ill-intended, ill-informed, villainous, jealous, spiteful and down right uncalled for advice and opinions.

 

Bring it!

We are ready!

I am ready!

We will not in quietly into the night. We will not give up without a fight’.

And with our Creator in our corner, how could we ever taste despair or failure.

To the Power of Three!!!

Fiqh of Marriage (Understanding the Law of Marriage)

1-Great relationships don’t just happen; they are created. You have to work at it.

2-If your job takes all of your best energy, your marriage will suffer.

3-One of the greatest gifts you can give your spouse is your own happiness.

4-It is possible to love and hate someone at the same time.

5-When you complain about your spouse to your friends, remember that their feedback can be distorted.

6-The only rules in your marriage are those you both choose to agree with.

7-It is not conflict that destroys marriage; it is the cold, smoldering resentment that you hold for a long time.

8-It’s not what you’ve got, it’s what you do with what you have.

9-If you think you are too good for your spouse, think again.

10-Growing up in a happy household doesn’t ensure a happy marriage, or vice versa.

11-It’s never too late to repair damaged trust.

12-The real issue is usually not the one you are arguing about.

13-Love isn’t just a feeling; it is expressed through our actions.

14-Expectations set us up for disappointment and resentment.

15-Arguments cannot be avoided, but destructive arguments can be avoided.

16-One of the greatest gifts you can give your spouse is focused attention.

17-Even people with happy marriages sometimes worry that they married the wrong person.

18-Your spouse cannot rescue you from unhappiness, but they can help you rescue yourself.

19-The cost of a lie is far greater than any advantage you gain from speaking it.

20-Your opinion is not necessarily the truth.

21-Trust takes years to establish and moments to destroy.

22-Guilt-tripping won’t get you what you really want.

23-Don’t neglect your friends.

24-If you think, “You are not the person I married,” you are probably right.

25-Resisting the temptation to prove your point will win you a lot of points.

26-Generosity of spirit is the foundation of a good marriage.

27-If your spouse is being defensive, you might be giving them reasons to be like that.

28-Marriage isn’t 50/50; it’s 100/100.

29-You can pay now or pay later, but the later you pay, the more interest and penalties you acquire.

30-Marriage requires sacrifice, but your benefits outweigh your costs.

31-Forgiveness isn’t a one-time event; it’s a continuous process.

32-Accepting the challenges of marriage will shape you into a better person.

33-Creating a marriage is like launching a rocket: once it clears the pull of gravity, it takes much less energy to sustain the flight.

34-A successful marriage has more to do with how you deal with your current reality than with what you’ve experienced in the past.

35-Don’t keep feelings of gratitude to yourself.

36-There is no greater eloquence than the silence of real listening.

37-One of the greatest questions to ask your spouse is “How best can I love you?”

38-Marriage can stay fresh over time.

39-Assumptions are fine as long as you check them before acting upon them.

40-Intention may not be the only thing, but it is the most important thing.

41-Good sex won’t make your marriage, but it’ll help.

42-Privacy won’t hurt your marriage, but secrecy will.

43-Possessiveness and jealousy are born out of fear, not love.

44-Authenticity is contagious and habit-forming.

45-If your spouse thinks something is important, then it is.

46-Marriage never outgrows the need for romance.

47-The sparkle of a new relationship is always temporary.

48-There is violence in silence when it’s used as a weapon.

49-It’s better to focus on what you can do to make things right, then what your partner did to make things wrong.

50-If you think marriage counseling is too expensive, try divorce.