Personal, Private or Petty?

We so often use to term, ‘Its personal’. But what exactly does that mean.

If you having trouble in your life it is regarded as personal, but only to strangers. For those we allow within our emotional space are sometimes privy to things regarded as personal.

Sentimental items are regarded as personal as it only has meaning to you.

Your being, your very person. That is regarded as personal.

Underwear. That is regarded as personal, especially to men who are not your spouse.

Cosmetics and toiletries are personal because it is used on your body, your person.

Your own space, like your bedroom or your home are also personal.So I can go on and on.

Yes all these things are personal, but they are just as personal as the people you allow within that realm.Your bedroom will be private, but that privacy will be shared by a roommate or spouse.Your underwear will be private accept for those you decide are privy to that part of you. And so you will then decide the level of privacy you will ascribe to each situation.

But then there are  instances that  is  totally personal, without any question, such as your relationship with your husband.  However in my case even that space is often a shared space as my sister-wife is an integral part of my personal space.So my sense of privacy is much different to that of others. My boundaries are completely different. My life a shared space.

 

However, there are certain spheres of my life that to me is sacred and of which I am very territorial and possessive.

1. My own thoughts and feelings are mine and no one is privy to it unless I choose to disclose and share.

 

2. My children are also exclusively mine. The only world I need not share with anyone other than their father. Anyone else, will only be allowed at my discretion and on my decision.

 

Simply because I know how it feels to share the unshareble.

Sacrifice the unthinkable and adapt to the impossible.

To have traded previous plans, dreams and aspirations for new and unknown ones.

 

To have to shift your entire existence and plunge feet first into what sometimes feel like an abyss. An abyss where you walk in blindly trusting that as scary as the darkness seems, it will lead you to a place of  beauty, peace, calm and contentment.

So in the light of this bold and brave leap, is it unreasonable to want to keep some spheres untouched and uncompromised. Not all the time, but indeed some of the time.

Am I petty and pathetic to feel that my children and my relationship with them should remain sacred, untouched and uncompromised.

Am I desperately trying to hold on to the last frontier.

Or do I have just cause to expect that one sphere remain unchanged and grow with ME, around ME and toward ME.

Can I regard my children to be mine and private?

Just asking …

I’m a children too…

Childhood is a very brief  leg of the journey of life.

And although it does come to end,  the child inside us does not cease to exist. We still miss many aspects of childhood that we yearn for. Some of us miss the innocence and carefree existence that childhood offers. But there is another childhood treasure that we do not only wish for but very often need as much as we need the air we breath.

We need to be nurtured and nursed when we re not feeling well. Be it emotionally or physically.

For emotional discomfort we often just need to know that we are loved and that someone cares and the odd hug could also bring comfort.
But when we ill, a whole different need arises. The need for nurture is then replaced with the need to be nursed… Just like we needed when we were little.
As a baby your mother’s arms offered safety, sanctity  and the promise that things you will be all better tomorrow and all will be well. Creating a trust and dependency on what a mother has to offer to that  little child.
And as you grow into a toddler, the arms of the mother becomes slightly less healing and the promise then becomes “a mothers touch can heal every scrape”. Her kiss can take all your tears away and she possesses powerful knowledge that could fix your world in a blink of an eye. As long as mom is there, present and within a hugs reach.

You then develop  into a preteen and then a teenager. Now the difficult task – deeming your mother as the most uncool being to walk the face of the earth despite what you really feel. Because that is what is expected in the world teenagedom. But all the same she is still the only one to fix the flu. heal the headache and mix the meds that will help nurse you back to health.

Then we move on and become adults, get careers, get married. And still when things go awry, your instincts point toward your mother as a source of salvation and solace. But very often your mother is not within reach as you have embarked on a new life journey, probably with a life partner.

So now what to do? Mom is not near. Solution. If you’re lucky, your life partner will be able to fulfill that role of the persona to nurse and nurture you back to health. Only now reciprocation is necessary as both parties may yearn for it at different times.

Bottom line…

We remain in need of a mothers touch from the cradle to the grave. Whether it is from your own mother or any other person you care for and cares for you.

So mothers,  nurse and nurture  your children for as long as you can, especially when they are sick. Irrespective of  their age. Make them the priority, above your husband, above yourself.

Fathers, nurse and nurture  your children for as long as you can, especially when they are sick. Irrespective of their age. Make them the priority, above your wife, above your parents, above yourself.

Husbands, nurse and nurture  your children and your wife especially when they are sick.  Make them the priority, above yourself.

Wives, nurse and nurture  your children and your husband, especially when they are sick.  Make them the priority,above yourself.

Because deep down we are all still children needing a mommy to take the pain away and make our world better!

Thank you to all mommys, daddys, wives and husbands who does nurse and nurture their loved ones.