Relationships are interesting. Friendships are supposed to be healing and positive situations but sometimes…. There are individuals who pose as “friends” and they plot, and then steal what you deem worthy. Today is a day I’ll neva forget. Used to share my secrets with ya. Used to laugh about some crazy stuff with you. What I failed to realize is that you were using my information for your usage. And today is a day I’ll neva forget. This is a day you waited for. You wanted what I had. So you stole. What you fail to realize is that I am not in the darkness like you wanted me to be in. What you fail to realize is that I am God’s angel and he has my back. You can’t steal what things he has given to me. And even though I am trippin’ on your sillyness, I can’t blame you for wanting what I have. What i have is deep and real. What I have is beautiful. What I got you still can’t have. You have something with no substance. I have a deeper gift. A deeper thang. Sistah you can’t steal what blessings he has given to me. You can’t steal my joy. I’m still here. I’m still blessed. So even though I am disappointed in you, know that I am the bigger person and I won’t act crazy. I am going to be real with you. I am still going to be me. But I will neva trust you again. This betrayal is a little too much even for me.
Joy is in the simple things: touching,
Embracing, chattering on for hours about nothing,
Sure of your place within another’s heart.
Simple things: like coming home knowing
Exactly where the treasure lies; like being
At ease with what you do and who you are;
Needing what you already have; accepting,
Desiring what you have been given; feeling
The gratitude of someone who is loved;
Investing goodness instead of money; giving
For the pleasure of giving pleasure; seeing
Fortune come to take you in its arms.
All this joy is yours for the price of loving,
Not only well but long, days of willing,
Years and years of wise and patient love.
Because of you …
Today was one of those strange days. One of those days when I feel completely quiet inside, but not numb.
When i feel gentle and peaceful. Vulnerable and fragile. Yet restless at the same time.
And this lull that is radiating from the pit of my stomach meanders on an endless and mindless path back and forth between my mind and heart.
On days like this silence is my best friend yet loneliness forces unwanted company.
So in a nutshell I have not been able to, in all of these years, understand or define this strange feeling.
What hand long been apparent however, is that this undefined feeling brings structure to my internal chaos, inspire my creativity and cultivates my productivity.
But all of the above feelings. thoughts and observations are dwarfed by something much more intense.
On days like this I feel like crawling under my husbands skin and resting my head under his heart.
On days like this I feel a closeness to him unlike anything I can describe in words.
On days like this I miss my darling so much, that it hurts.
On days like this I realise…
I am blessed.
In the times that we live we are constantly bombarded by ideals of tolerance and forgiveness
And yes, in a perfect world everybody will be naturally caring,loving, forgiving and tolerant. But being forgiving and tolerant is not allotted to everyone.
Some of us need immediate retribution as means to instant gratification and an immense desire to prove the guilt of another.
But the human species is adjustable, dynamic and resilient.We are able shift and change and adapt as needed.
We can put our happy face on at any time, despite what or how we may feel inside.
Be Brave when needed
Be cautious when needed
Be reckless when needed
Take chances when needed
Be gentle when needed
Be strong when needed
Cry bitterly when needed
Laugh hysterically when needed
Be humble when needed
Be proud when needed
Be sad when needed
Be happy when needed
Be kind when needed
Be harsh when needed
Be quiet when needed
Be silent when needed
Make our voice heard when needed
Be critical when needed
Believe when needed
Trust when needed
Have faith needed
Question when needed
Introspect when needed
And all this is needed
Waves crashing onto the shore have a dual purpose.
Or maybe multiple purposes.
Mostly waves rush to shore to deposit unwanted objects.
Other times it creates a rhythmic melody that brings calm and inspiration.
Many times it creates a romantic backdrop for lovers to appreciate and celebrate their affections while creating precious memories.
That is but some of the beauty waves have to offer.
But waves are also unpredictable, moody, violent and even destructive.
In stormy weather waves can
slam a ship to shards,
hack homes into hellish heaps and
melt memories into molten mayhem.
It can wash away a life in am instant and disable another in a flash.
All this while merrily carrying out its designated task. Rolling and swaying too and fro.
And so does life also occur. Just like the waves.
Sometimes friendly and pleasant. Bringing smiles to faces and memories to keep.
Other times life is stormy, destructive and painful.
Leaving deep painful gashes and splintered fractures on your soul, healing into lasting scars as reminders of the pain, sorrow and hurt once endured.
And just like old fractures who come to haunt you painfully in winter or amputated limbs with its phantom pains, the old hurt comes to haunt you when you least expect it and even less can afford it. Bringing with it feelings of regret, guilt, frustration and anger.
Turning your soul into an angry sea filled with violently self-destructive waves.
And just like the sea, as long as the stormy weather persists, the waves will roll and ravish all in its way until the storm subsides and the waves tires.
And if you are lucky, minimal damage would have been done to the shore. Damage that can be repaired with hopefully minimal lasting effects.
And so is cycle of the sea of life.
One minute calm and beautiful
and rough and raging the next…