Loss of a Special Star

Bulelwa

Sadness seem to follow everywhere and strike at anytime. Such was the case yesterday when what should have been a time of celebration, goodwill, joy and happiness, turned out to a parents nightmare.

Today one of my learners, Bulelwa Wayiza, was mowed down by truck in her own neighbourhood. And so a young and promising life violently brought to a halt.

A huge void left in the hearts of parents, a family, friends and classmates, teachers and many others.
Now we will now longer feel and see the sunshine of your smile, the warmth of your hugs and beauty of the voice of this radiant songbird.

We will never cheer you on when your dream of being a famous singer comes true or your graduation after varsity or a beautiful bride at your white wedding.

How I wish to just once be able to mockingly ask you to shush, to bring the dirt bin so you could spit your bubble-gum or to to give you a hug simply because you asked. How I wish to hear your voice humming or belting out beautiful Xhosa songs in in the middle of class being in progress and saying ‘Sorry Juffrou’ flashing your gorgeous smile.

The world is a much poorer place without the sunshine that was Bulelwa.

We will remember you…
Forever singing
Forever smiling
Forever young
You were not for this world
God has a bigger plan for you
Rest easy my little songbird
Enjoy your stay with the angels…
Because that is where you belong..

Exposed…

Life_Exposed

Today was one of those days etched in my memory.
But also one of those days I would choose to fade with the fog into the sunlight.

Today my crimes and offenses were laid bare. Exposed for all (the new psychiatrist) to see. And what a dark and sombre occasion it turned out to be.

My head bowed in shame, my face filled with pain and tears flowing freely.

I saw my life as if i was looking into a fish bowl with myself being a monstrous gold fish.

I am a monster, a demon, an affliction that sows maximum damage to all that comes near. The closer to me you are, the more likely you are to become a target of my violent outbursts and attacks or fall victim to my darkness

So again someone promise to be able to help. Someone promises a magic potion. A miracle cure. Just another one to add to a list of many.

But this is my reality. Ugly and painful as it is.

So the only way now is forward and upward. Leaving the dark, ugly and painful behind.

Easier said than down, but worth making an earnest attempt.

That attempt together with faith and prayer, maybe, just maybe, some headway can be achieved.

So now to start over…

Once again!