bite your tongue

Many times people say things to you that is hurtful and unfair. And then we so easily want to set the record straight and confront the offending person as a means to get retribution or prove how wrong the said person was.

But if you think about your feelings and try to rationalise, you might spare both you and the other person some serious discomfort and hurtful feelings.

I was recently hurt and offended by someone I feel for deeply and often consider before saying something that could make that person feel pain or embarrassment. yet this person had no problem reprimanding me of some inconsiderate action, that person has actually been guilty of. And I chose not to speak my thoughts so as to not put that person on the spot or cause undue friction between myself and the said person.

So in my mind the words uttered was audacious, unfair, hypocritical and offensive. But because I chose to not respond immediately, time transpired for examining my feelings and deciding whether a confrontation was worth the trouble

I chose to let it slide; to focus on the good things which in relation to the sometimes slightly offensive completely dilutes the negative into a weak, worthless pinch on an elephant.

So my choice was a good one. No one was hurt badly and no confrontation followed.

Victory once again!!!


changing ur mindset


“Practice what you preach” is four tiny words that has more meaning than the thickest book ever written.

It addresses the human flaw of pointing at the splinter in someone else’s eye, forgetting the log in your own.

And very few of us are able to recognise when we fall guilty of this, yet most, if not all of us, are guilty of this faux.

So be careful before you give advice or criticize  or reprimand another, you might just be speaking to your own reflection.


So practice…

to practice what you preach


Living the dream

luv liv hr 

When I embarked on this journey of sharing my husband, myself, my children, my life. I had a vision of a life filled with love, harmony, joy and happiness. To experience a closeness with my sister-wife that not even my natural sisters can offer. To feel a sense of contentment, joy and admiration to see the two people closest to me, sister-wife and hubby loving each other because of me. Seeing my sister-wife happy and finally not just living, but being alive.

But then things seemed to go wrong. Jealousy and envy shed dark clouds to hover over our home and lives. Things were said that should not have been said and could not be unsaid. Damage was done that was difficult to fix. Things were done that caused pain, sadness and tears. Irrational thoughts, feelings and perception became food for the raging fire that was plaguing and burning our home, our lives.

Then a terrible demon rose from its slumber, only  this time it had a name. And with it having a name, came a new kind of despair. Despair of what if, and fear and regret.

What if my demon who now has a name…  BIPOLAR wins the battles and eventually the war. This  unstoppable, unbeatable, destructive force clearly set on destroying my life, my world and in the process the lives of those close to me.

Only this time the defensive side was not a one man army, but a formidable army not only in greater numbers, but also armed with the most powerful weapon ever to be used, LOVE…

And with this powerful weapon  fuelled by an undisputable, unconquerable, indestructible, force called love, The Power Of Three  have proven that it is indeed an adversary to be reckoned with. This weapon of love have managed to keep my demon in check; to heighten its defences at the slightest glimmer of this demonic force lifting its ugly head to terrorise me and those close to  me.

So now we are winning. Winning because of the gift of love. And finally my vision is being realised. Is visible and tangible. We are living the dream. We are living what most people deem impossible.

We are loving  without wanting selfishly, but rather always wanting for the next one. And such is how the circle of love goes around…

Seamless, boundless and impenetrable.

Finally the dream is alive…

I have my sister-wife feeling, treasured, adored, loved, desired, respected, appreciated and wanted by a family motivated by love and all the while feeling worthy of all these wonderful gifts.

My little boy has a family, brothers,a sister, a second mother, an actual father figure, a grandmother and extended family who adores him as much as they do their own.

My children are learning the valuable lesson that society does not determine our choices, but that our choices are dictated by the will of Allah and that which Allah has made permissible. They also learnt that if you give one step toward Allah, Allah opens a wide array of opportunities and rewards to you.

My (our) husband always had the need and desire to spread his love and care for someone other than myself and through this wonderful assimilation of two wonderful people to our family, his desire could also be fulfilled ,another could gain from the wonderful, loving, caring, nurturing and protective husband he has always been to me.

And finally…

I could have my friend, my sister, my confidant, other side of me close.

Another to love,

Another to share with,

Another to confide in,

Another to comfort and find comfort in,

Another to laugh with

and another to cry with


I love you Sis

I love that you are part of my (our) family

I love that hubby loves you and you him

I love that you love my (our  4) children

I love having you so close

 family together      

So  as the world is watching

Waiting for our love to fall flat,

We are living the dream

Compersion is alive and working in our home.

We are living the dream….