The key to surviving any ordeal or pain in life is to have hope. The hope that things will get better. Will change. Will be better next time around.
Hope makes us want to try again. Try another attempt to what seem to have failed. Maybe this time we are wiser and can make better choices. Maybe the other parties involved have changed or will change and that would make all the difference. And that belief again creates hope.
Hope makes us blind for what is right in front of our eyes. Makes us blind to pain around us. Pin inflicted on those we love, sometimes even inflicted by us. Makes us blind to how that pain is killing us and those around us. Blind to how you are chipped away, chizzled to a mass of nothingness. Untill you are so blind that you do not see yourself any more. Do not recognise yourself anymore.
But still you have hope…
Hope makes you deaf to the cries of those dependent on you. Those dependent on your love, your caring, your nurturing and your safety. Deaf to your own heart’s cries. Cries for love, respect, trust and freedom. Cries to feel whole again.
But you are ignorant, blind and deaf, for hope does not bring love, safety, care, nurture, trust and safety. it only brings….