So much has happened. Things changed and changed back and then changed back again.
Try this, then that or maybe another or something else. I want, she need. He tries. He can’t. Back to the drawing board we go. Again we try to find that we seek…balance, comfort and stability.
Sometimes ecstatic, sometimes discontent.
Sometimes you give again that which is closest and most precious simply because it is the right thing to do, despite the pain and sadness. You realise that another’s need maybe greater than yours. You remember gifts from before and feel the need to reciprocate, hoping it will be appreciated. You make peace with the fact that if it’s not, other gifts will make up and sooth the pain.
Then you realise that irrational behavior stems from deep and dark places of pain. Old pain, very old pain and sometimes not so old pain. Little and big things becomes triggers for revival and reliving of old trash. Like reruns of really bad tv shows , we get tortured and twisted. So we Do instinctively to protect our sanctity, to reclaim the new, reborn and liberated you.
Attack is the best defense!!!
In that realisation you learn to understand, to be tolerant, to be supportive and create a space in which healing can occur. Coz that is what love is… to step back and and put another first and to believe that when the tables are turned you will be blessed in the same way. That is what love is!!!
Now time has become the greatest teacher.
Teaching to love without bounds, without expectation, without aspiration, without personal desire or need.
Happiness is to want what you have and not have what you want!